AppId is over the quota
During my life, I've said these words hundreds of times: Most of us, even if we're in psychotherapy, don't really change. We just become more the way we already are. I've said it to family, friends and my psychotherapy clients. There may be exceptions, but most of us find it hard to change for various reasons. For starters, we can't see the parts of ourselves that could use improvement because we don't know ourselves very well and think too highly of ourselves. Don't we all want to believe we're special and gifted? None of us wants to believe we're average, or that we have serious issues that need work.
Then there is the human propensity to explain one's difficulties, short-comings and failures by assigning blame to somebody else. Look around you at the people you know. The co-worker who's careless and lazy but blames her poor evaluations on an exacting boss, or colleagues who have it out for her. The cousin who gets under your skin because in every story he tells, he paints himself as a victim. Have you ever known anyone who told you, "I got fired because I was doing a lousy job," or "A lot of bad things have happened in my life because I make so many impulsive bad choices"? Few people are willing to accept that their own character traits and choices are the main determinants of the kind of life they lead.
And finally, effecting change involves hard work and difficult choices. Even when you gain insight about your true nature, you then need to do something about it, over and over again. This is one of the most misunderstood issues for patients entering psychotherapy. I sometimes refer to it as the Alfred Hitchcock theory of insight, as in the film 'Marnie' where as soon as she recovers her repressed childhood memory, she seems to shed a deeply ingrained disgust and distrust of men. Insight doesn't work that way.
The personality traits that are aspects of us now will be with us for life -- that's a part of real insight. If you're a critical, judgment sort of person, you'll always have a tendency to be that way. But if you know yourself well, recognize that this is YOUR problem along, then you can learn to bite your tongue and wait for some other, kinder feelings to come up. If the problem is extreme, you might only be able to stay silent and feel a little sad that you can't feel differently. At least that way, though, you can keep yourself from hurting the ones you love and care about.
That's the reality of change: it requires a lot of hard work and the results are never the sort of ideal transformation we're looking for.
art therapy schools
art therapy schools
Joseph Burgo PhD writes a blog called 'After Psychotherapy' for individuals who want to continue their journey of self-discovery after psychotherapy ends. If you want to did deeper and examine your relationships, then visit his site.art therapy schools: art therapy schools
Related Articles:
0 comments:
Post a Comment